Best Books for BurnOut
So I have read and listened to so so many books and podcasts over the past year since confronted with the challenges of burnout. One thing I have discovered is that sadly burn out is becoming more and more common. And it’s really common in middle aged women who’ve been go getters, high achievers and care givers. Hello!
So I thought I would share the best practical books that actually helped me through it, as it has been said, there’s no growth without pain, but let the pain have been mine not yours.
Whether you prefer to read or listen to audiobooks, it’s a lifestyle thing- although honestly I could listen to Mo Gawdat’s dulcet tones all day, and Miranda Hart is much funnier to listen to as she has such great timing in her delivery- because she’s a comedian. I find sometimes I like to see the written word, other times I like to listen while walking or on long drives.
Hearing about others experiences can really help, as can an understanding of the psychology and research into burn out. So here is a run down on the books I recommend, my key takeaways and why.
Although I’m a creative type, I do like practical tips. I enjoyed the contrast between Mo’s engineering explanations and Alice’s more spiritual and mindfulness approach in their book Unstressable. When Mo used physics to explain the different types of stress- the acute stress like when a glass hits the floor on impact and the chronic stress where pressure builds up until the glass shatters it rang true to me. It was also a little spooky, as the next day a glass container in my cupboard shattered into a million pieces all by itself. I heard the bang and went to investigate but found nothing until I opened the cupboard and tiny shards of safety glass poured out. The container had been heated, frozen, cooled and finally it had just had a enough and exploded! Know the feeling? I also liked his likening the skill of an unstressable life is to not jump on a pane of glass but on a trampoline. You need to give and adjust and the way to do that is to limit your stressors, listen to the stress in your body and learn to respond not react. So switch off the news cycle- someone will let you know if you need to know. Don’t send lots of emails as you’ll just get even more back! And make changes to limit other stressors in your life. I also named my mind like Mo does- and I tell her often she’s being unhelpful, too negative and to be quiet sometimes- especially when she starts chattering in the middle of the night!
Tilda is Visible is a parable for women in middle age. It can be read as a fun chick lit and as a self-help book. The concept of middle aged women needing to find themselves so they don’t become invisible is an empowering tale of how to get better, not bitter as we age. Good fun but some seriously good advice too.
These very smart and educated sisters have been researching burn out for years. This book really helps you realise why you’re never able to end your stress cycle, you just keep getting more and more stressed until it leads to burn out and a fried nervous system. This is good for understanding why and how burn out happens.
This was my first read on the topic and I feel like I need to go back and read it again. It’s a quick easy read in simple chapters. The one that still resonates is the chapter entitled Just Stop. Well yes, but I actually didn’t know how and felt panicky and hyper vigilant, like a car going a hundred miles an hour and then suddenly slamming on the brakes- it was scary so that led me to looking for something to do, so I could slow down…and then try and stop.
So this beautiful book, explaining how you can use creativity, whether that’s art making, gardening, singing, or cooking to heal your nervous system was just what I needed and very affirming- as I’d been painting and drawing again- just for the calm of it- and was starting to use my creativity to calm myself. This book helped validate the process I was on to recover from burn out.
This book reminded me of the importance of curiosity, magic andof feeling alive. Of engaging with nature and adventures.
Miranda’s book actually pulls together a lot of the research in a personal account of dealing with illness and what really helps. While it’s not specifically about burn out, there are so many parallels in her healing journey and what she’s worked out I found it full of wisdom, authenticity and highly relatable.
Well a lot of our self-care and burn out prevention comes down to boundaries. Everyone talks about them but you know they are hard to articulate, hard to set, and hard to implement without friction- especially when you’ve been a peopple pleaser and put everyone first- they family, friends and colleagues come to expect it. You need to know yourself, your true values, and realise emotions are messengers that your boundaries are being crossed or at least challenged.
This is a practical book with examples you can practice. Like the messages in other books I’ve read The Courage to Be Disliked, and Mel Robbin’s Let Them Theory- I started to realise that boundaries aren’t just about your own- but others boundaries as well. If we stop trying to help and control others, actually look at what are my responsibilities and what belong to others, we have a better chance of setting our own boundaries. As author Anne Lamont says “help is the sunny side of control”. I think we’d all be less stressed if we let go a little, and let others make their own decisions and mistakes. As the young ones say “you do you, boo”.
I’m enjoying this book. My main take away so far is that “anxiety shuts down creativity, but creativity shuts down anxiety.” It’s why Calming Art works. Anxiety and Creativity exist in different parts of the brain. One shuts off the other, they don’t operate at the same time. Dr Beck talks about the anxiety spiral and how curiosity and creativity help you alleviate your anxiety. It’s actually validating that what I had already discovered through my own experience was backed by research.
I also love that she references the 8 C’s and 5 P’s of Self that I’d come across in my own reading of Dr Richard Schwartz. I find them very helpful and have used these in the design of my Calming Art Workshops.
The 8C’s of Self
Curiosity
Compassion
Clarity
Connectedness
Creativity
Courage
Confidence
Calm
And of the 5 P’s
Patience
Presence
Persistence
Perspective
Playfulness
My Calming Art Workshops are resonating with participants as they work and the research backs it up. Having read all this research and insight it makes sense as to why.
Having taught art for nearly 30 years to teens and children, the 8c’s and 5Ps have been essential in my lesson and project design to engage and help students grow: but discovering how important they are to adults too has fed my new purpose.
Helping adults reconnect with these perceived “childlike” qualities of curiosity, creativity and playfulness and use them to invite more joy and calm into our lives that are fast-paced, full of demands and overwhelm. Mo Gawdat describes Stress as the new pandemic.
For me almost a year on, it makes sense that my own burn out, along with my art teaching experience and creativity has led me here. Although when I was in the middle of it, all I could see was fog. My offering is to teach individuals simple ways to use creativity to feel calmer despite our busy lives. I genuinely hope it helps, the research and feedback says it will.
For Calming Art Workshop details visit my workshops page here
